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Archive for September 2nd, 2011

Sabotage!

Final Word count: September 1, 2011- 689 (2 pages); no journal entry

I have company this weekend and Hard Boiled Crime stories are difficult to write. I had a rip roaring start last night at 10 pm when I caught the airport shuttle out to pick my friend up. I really felt like a zombie had eaten the top part of my head at that point but I at least got the ball rolling and had tested out what kind of tone I wanted to take with the story.

I’ve discovered something very important already with this story- I’m going to be working out of my comfort zone.

“Why? ‘you may ask.

“Well, let me expound” I reply.

First off I am not a man. Secondly, it is no longer 1940. Thirdly, I do not use swear words (when I do they’re shocking, even if they are the tame-o lame-o kind) and fourthly, I have no clue, yet again, what I’m doing.

Add all those together and I’ve got a male Private Eye character from the pre-WWII era who smokes, drinks, and is a self-proclaimed pervert whose main gig was following around cheating spouses and taking pictures of their escapades. Clearly I can not draw on any shred of my existence to build this story.

I really don’t think this is all too different then the western but the differences are fairly momentous. It’s hard to think like a man and do an acceptable job at it (it’s not like there are only a few out there so I can BS my way through and I have a pretty big chance at being denounced as a fraud) and the swearing. Do you know how long it took me to have my character REPEAT what his sleazy relative told me about working in that profession?! Tsk tsk tsk. I don’t think I can type it again.

I think this is a great gateway into really letting myself go and fling my imagination into the really challenging corners of my mind. I want to do each genre the justice it deserves. So what’s going to happen next month with the horror? I have a feeling it’s going to be seriously depraved. But that’s what horror’s about. And romance? Whew! Someone call the fire department (and make sure the men are handsome!)!

I’m excited about pushing myself out of the sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, dry humour or the wildly optimistic tone I generally lapse into but I’m afraid of being judged by people for what I write. Not the quality but the content. I’m not a potty mouth and I feel really awful when I pinch a gnat to death. Hmmm, well, yeah. I do have a really dirty mind. So 2 out of 3 isn’t so bad. Anyways, I want to show people I can access that side of my mind but it’s not who I am. I’m afraid of people looking at me in a different light because I can dream up such potent offenders of society and moral values.

I feel like I’ve veered off into unchartered waters this month and am going to have to really struggle to give myself permission to really let loose. Writing is such an intimate act, you’re putting bits and pieces of yourself onto paper- it’s no longer a facet floating on a scale, it’s now black and white. That can be so terrifying to see what you’re capable of imagining. It really does take strength to leave it- the “delete” button is all too tempting sometimes.

I had an unexpected free hour at work but left my computer at home. I think it’s a good thing even though it feels like I’ve sabotaged my word count. I need to think about what’s going on in my story and how to approach this for a bit. It’s been easy so far since it’s just been establishing the setting and tone. I’m coming to the point soon where I’ll need to declare the main problem. I have no idea what that well be yet.

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