Final Word Count: October 6, 2011- in the hundreds; 1 journal page
I’ve been writing every day, but obviously not enough to keep up with my word count let alone get ahead. I don’t know what’s stalling me but it sucks. And then today I end up at the doctor’s because I found a lump in one of my boobs. I’m generally so creative, why couldn’t it have been some other way other than the all-too-common “in the shower” routine? Well, regardless of how it came about, I spent a gorgeous Friday afternoon in the waiting room of a walk in clinic. In all those 2 hours, did I even unzip my backpack to make sure my computer was still there? Nope. Did I think about my story? Not really. Apparently THIS is why I’m not making any progress.
As far as appointments go, it wasn’t the worst- no one freaked out (I deserve a medal for my calm frame of mind) and things don’t seem as bad as they did at 7:30 am when I was still half-asleep (being the drama queen I am, I almost passed out in the shower then proceeded to text everyone I think would forgive me for waking them up at 6:30 am or earlier). That being said, I’m still not in the clear until I have a mammogram. At this point, I’m more concerned about the process than the results. One of my friends thoughtfully related it to an inexperienced guy. I’ll take all the thoughts, encouragements and suggestions someone’s willing to throw my way. And if it’ll give me a clear bill of health, I’m more than willing to put up with the pain. I haven’t run away for painful things yet.
This really has nothing to do with my writing other than distracting me today so until my body parts become possessed and start acting out of their own accord, I’ll leave them out of the conversations from here on out. *zipping lips*
Anyways, I breast best be getting back on track. I need to get back into my story. I really, really miss it and I’ve discovered that nothing cures the hypochondria like keeping mentally stimulated and busy. If I’m preoccupied thinking of other things then I can’t be worrying about stuff that I’ve probably just never noticed.
The story’s getting good (I hope). I’ve killed off 3 people in one fell swoop and 2 more a couple pages later. I was dead serious (no pun… ok, ok, pun intended) when I said it was going to have a crazed psychopath. Am I making this realistic? Not on your life. Maybe it won’t be as scary that way but I’m all about over-exaggeration right now. It’ll be fun to walk on the dark side for a month. I can’t wait to wreak havoc on all these poor, unsuspecting characters.
The editing has stopped right now. Since I’m not taking my computer to The Big Easy I’ll save my plane trips for actual writing- editing and handwriting my story. Until then, I’m hoping to finally log some serious time on the good ol’ MacBook until then.
For all you Canadians, Happy thanksgiving! Gobble Gobble!
I think it was Dean Koontz who wrote about the horrors of a writer’s imagination – being able to imagine the worst of each and everything, and very vividly, too. I certainly agree with him, I experienced those horrors myself.
But then I found out something so simple that I was shocked I didn’t realise it before: This very same imagination is just as powerful in imagining the BEST possible result and can take you all the way up to happy – you don’t need to be a scientist to explain why happy equals healthy 🙂
And something else: As a writer, you certainly don’t want to live through all the scenarios you create just so you know what you are writing about, but you can “make do” with what you got and exaggerate. Take the fears and doubts you may have experienced and magnify them. In a novel, that little lump could become an alien monster; your waiting at the doctor’s is the uncertainty your MC goes through before he knows who his adversary is, your calmness of mind will help your MC to find a way through a jungle of obstacles 😉
Thanks for the support, Maria. I’m sure everything’s going to be okay. I’m certainly not going to allow the C word into my mind, vocabulary or writing right now and whatever the outcome is, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
For now I get to focus on my writing and enjoy all the other bits in my life that make it super SANtastic. Starting with a wonderful Thanksgiving.
I can empathise Sandra and I know it is not a fun experience at all. Totally unavoidable to freak out and imagine all worst possible case scenarios. But our beautiful and wise Maria is totally right – we should try if possible to use our overactive imaginations for good not evil!
Thinking of you honey and imagining the best. 🙂
Thanks, Cat. I don’t know why negative situations are so much easier to remember and/or focus on than positives. I don’t know about you but I can probably remember 2 or 3 embarrassing or bad-judgement moments for every 1 positive one.
I’m sure everything is okay- there’re more than one thing that could be going on. My internal optimist has been sleeping for the past little while but I think it’s waking back up. I’ve missed it, that’s for sure!