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Archive for January 12th, 2012

Breathe & Let it Be

I’m probably one of the guiltiest people out there when it comes to jumping the gun and anticipating the worst. Life’s thrown me a vast array of curve balls- some were small and easily deflected and others knocked me backwards and I fell hard.

When I moved to Halifax, I didn’t have a job or an apartment and I knew no one out here to help me. With $3,000 saved up in the span of 2 and a half months, I took the plunge and left my old life behind. Looking back, I finally understand people’s incredulous reactions when I told them my story. But in the moment? It wasn’t a big deal because I was sure that it was going to work out for the best. I’ve discovered the confidence and conviction that religious people have. They call it faith in God and I understand. My religious beliefs are neither here nor there but there is something wonderful about letting go of the situation and letting things happen.

I can tell when I’ve lost that sparkle in my life but only when I’ve fallen pretty far down the well of despair. I know that the last half of the year hasn’t been the smoothest for me in any section of my life and this is when I need to let go the most. I’ve been struggling with my writing because I haven’t made it a priority and I’ve let my time constraints get to me. With the stress of writing a new novel each month, there are times when I’ve asked myself why I’m doing it or forcing myself to work on a story that’s obviously not working. Then I get frustrated with myself because I’m not the Linda Carter the literary world.

It’s so much easier said than done. Practice makes perfect in so many things but this is one of those exceptions that will take a long time, if ever to come naturally and easily. This post has become more reflective than I expected. Sometimes you need to remind yourself that your world may be set on a tilt-a-whirl and you have no idea how you’re going to accomplish  what needs to be done but you just have to breathe and just let it go. It’s amazing how things work out.

You. Just. Have. To. breathe.

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