(I tried posting this yesterday but my internet was on the fritz and couldn’t get it completed until today)
I think I’m procrastinating. Today was a tough day to get going to do anything. I’m doing research for my plans involving world domination and the resuscitation of the prehistoric Card Catalogue but really I’m stalling. With 2 days left of this project, I’m in count down mode. I want to keep plugging away at the story, and have been but my brain is already in re-write mode for July.
I’ve come a full circle with this project. It seems like it was yesterday when I was sitting in the same exact seat as I’m sitting now writing a post a few days before July 1st. When I stop and think about it, I can’t believe I’ve ben through what I’ve experienced in the span of 366 days.
1. an autobiography completed in July
2. a western written in August
3. an unpredictable workload at work for almost a year
4. the end of each month resulted in a story idea that was probably new (I had some plots before hand but some developed as I wrote- very exciting!)
5. of the 9 story ideas, there are 3 stand-alone novels to finish
6. I’ve ended up with 2 novels that are each a part of a different series (one of them has at least 3 books, the other has at least 5)
7. I created a new hybrid sub-genre (at least that I’m aware of- Im sure someone’s tried it and it just wasn’t popular enough to print)
8. I apartment hunted
9. I job hunted
10. I found a job, transitioned to the new place and quit my old job
11. lost my new job
12. enjoy a forced vacation
13. am moving on
As great is it is to have goals and to have something to look forward to in the future, it’s important to stay rooted in the present. I’m sure I missed out on so many little victories or a sense of accomplishment for all the positives in my life. I mean, it is pretty spectacular achievement to have created a hybrid sub-genre, even if it is a little delusional. I’m I end up being the eccentric person living in her own little world, that’s fine by me. I’ve spent enough time being sad, stressed, upset, angry or any other negative emotion to realize that life does not become more satisfying with the more you have or the faster you make to the next good thing.
Life isn’t a Super Mario Brothers game- you can’t zip from coin to coin and fly through the finish line to make it to the next level. If the cliché “everything happens for a reason” or “when one door closes another opens” feel over-used, I stop and think of all the people who for some reason have daily struggles that I couldn’t even begin to sympathize with. It snaps me out of my loop of negativity when I think that there will always be someone out there who would gladly trade me for one of my worst days.
So I’ll continue to have my dreams and ambitions and of course I’ll occasionally lose myself in my wants and get frustrated with the way my life is going but with a different perspective, life takes on a whole new meaning. So what if I didn’t finish all my novels? I started a new one each month and even if I didn’t write too much, I could see where it might go and I’ve remained engaged in the creative process. For someone who hasn’t been required to write anything for over 6 years, that’s a substantial achievement.