Have I been zipping through my daily 5,000 word counts like a good girl? Nope. I’ve been lazy and ambitious (AKA procrastinating) all month. I’m finding this more and more difficult but I remain optimistic! Perhaps I’m just not a scifi person (sorry, Dad!) or maybe I made it too complicated yet again. None of my characters have names, numbers or any other sort of identifiable attribute so it makes it very difficult to articulate what’s going on in my head.
I may have had a good idea with this story but the complicated style really did not inspire me to stick with it. Or maybe it was the story itself. For every 20 ideas I get, there seems to be one that I see to completion. I may let my mind wander where it wants but rarely do I benefit from these daydreams. Sometimes it really seems that the idea isn’t worth the struggle to describe it. Or maybe the idea is half-formed and it still has to percolate before I can express what I’m thinking. This does not give me the excuse to stop writing though.
My troubles these past 3 months has been in my lack of writing. Just because a story isn’t working out doesn’t give me the right to give up completely on this project and wait for the next month to begin. I have to keep trying at this. It’s never been fun working through something that’s a weakness but in many cases that weakness can turn into a strength because you’ve spent the time fixing the trouble spots and really understanding the components.
Therefore, I think I need to issue myself a new challenge:
As of December, 2011, I am going to do my best to complete a novel a month. If I do not reach 25,000 words by the 15th (or the struggle to work on it is obviously counter-productive), I will write an at-least- 500-word short story in the genre-of-the-month each day. This way, I will continue writing daily, stay focused on the genre and feel productive without the pressure of a giant novel looming over my head. And who knows, i may end up with a little gem to develop later on at some point.
I am frustrated with myself for slipping back into my old routine. It felt so wonderful to be productive and to see a creative project blossom and flourish. I really miss that spark in my life but as with all things, I can’t just sit back and expect it to come to me. If I truly want this to be a part of my life again I need to put in the effort to make it work. As with my other passions at the moment, it takes time and sacrifice.
So, with this in mind, I’m looking forward to December 1st and the world of Steampunk. Beyond the rough idea for the first page of the story and my characters names, I know nothing. I have a feeling there’s going to be a flying machine and a time machine but will they go back in time or forward? I even miss Pascal (my inner critic) and Josephine (my inner analyst). Although I’d prefer Pascal to Josefiend.
It will never be too late to get back into the saddle with this project but I do regret waiting this long to kick myself in the pants. I’ll look at this as the battery-recharging that I need for the next 7 months. 7 months… 7 stories, 7 genres. I get shivers of happiness when I think about all there is left for me to attempt and the potential for creativity.
12 Novels in 12 Months 